wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
