Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
