Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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