Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
