he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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