Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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