I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
