it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
