my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize