I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
