is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Green mimosas i think yes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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