I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
