my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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