I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
