what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
