I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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