All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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