She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
