I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
