You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
