I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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