My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
