I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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