Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
