I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
