Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
