I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
