I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
