He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize