if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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