Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
