my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You can't just leave with hair like that
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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