she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
