we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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