I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
