i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize