Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
