I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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