went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
