they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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