I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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