At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
