Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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