You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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