I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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