there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
