I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think i have two assholes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
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He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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