just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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