So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
