I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
