Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
