i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
