You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
