I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
