Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
