trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize