im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
