I could have mohawked her pubes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
